‘The heights of great men reached and kept, were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upwards in the night.’ – Winston Churchill

We live in a world of fast foods, fast apps, fast cars, the list is endless; so how do you convince your teenager that there is no such thing as an overnight success and that success comes from hard work, dedication and time. Here are 6 sure fire ways to get your message across.

1. Start Early: Teenagers were once babies and toddlers. Principles are better taught from an early age and continued as the child grows. People (and that includes teenagers – I assure you) need to be repeatedly exposed to an idea for it to become a habit or a way of life. That’s just the way we humans are programed. It’s a lot easier to bend a green stem than a dry twig( think about it).

2. Lead by example: Kids do what you do. Some (if not all) of your habits (good or bad), are picked up subtlety; they don’t even know that they do it. They have simply picked it up from you. If you believe in overnight success, it will show in your words, attitudes and habits and kids will soak this up like a sponge. They will believe this as a way of life. That is not to say that some will not grow up and eventually find a fault in your theories, but do you want to have your kids playing catch up?

As a parent, you are not just a care giver, your job specification also includes role model, coach, mentor and the list goes on. This really puts you on the spot doesn’t it? It means you have to ‘do’ and ‘be’ ( as much as you can anyway) what you are asking your kids to ‘do’ and ‘be’. Let me tell you, it’s not always easy, but children pick up non-verbal messages more that the verbal.

3. Investigate and Communicate: Talk about  their teen idols and the prep they have to go through to be and stay on top. It’s easy for kids to see celebrities and imagine that life is just a walk in the park for them. So talk about a celebrity they identify with.

Do your research (a 10 min google research can reveal a lot). This will equip you to  casually raise the fact with your child, on how many school plays, auditions, small roles they had to endure and for how many years they had to do this, before they got to the limelight.

Don’t forget to remind them how hard they have to continue to work for them to remain in the limelight. Everybody’s talking about  Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber’s recent MTV awards, but do you know how much effort, practice, self denial goes into what they do. Some of these stars have to get to set as early as 3am or work late into the night to achieve their dreams. This should inspire your teen to wake at 7am to prepare for school or anything he believes in. Apart from speaking to your teen in a language he/she understands and can relate to, you score some points here, because your child will start to think you are really cool.

4. Encourage them to read biographies. You will be amazed at how biographies can spark interest and encourage them in their pursuits. By reading biographies, they can see that people that succeed were once just like them, with dreams fears and insecurities. Yet this did not deter them from achieving success.

Current mistakes or inadequacies don’t seem so fatal and their dreams won’t seem so out of touch with reality when they see successful people also went through these stages. Biographies if carefully chosen provide one of the greatest insights into the mind of a successful personalities. Recommended: Biographies Alan Sugar, Steve Jobs).

I find that when you choose the books together, they stand a higher chance of of getting read. If you find that getting them to read is challenging, try summarized books or even biographical movies. Can Do- a collection of motivational quotes for teens and young adults is one such book.

 5. Encourage them to follow their dreams. Teens are at a stage where that are picking careers and vocations. Everybody has a calling, a talent. Encourage yours to find where their passion lies and pick a career in what they are genuinely interested in. This way they are willing to give it all it requires to excel.

Do not force them into a career, or make them choose one for financial returns only. I believe there are great financial returns in every career, but these are only triggered by the individual’s talent. Talent=Interest=Innovation=Excellence=Financials.

 6. Be Positive. Don’t be a nagging parent. Try not to complain about every error they make. We are humans, and making mistakes is what we do, not only that, it’s how we learn. However, help them to learn from their mistakes. When they raise the concept of overnight success or they get weary in they own pursuits. Remind them of their own success.

My daughter had a particularly hard time learning how to ride her bicycle. She gave up on several occasions (especially after falling or riding straight into a tree lol). But I kept encouraging her, until she perfected her riding. Now years later, when she is faced with a challenge. I reminder her of the cycling. It took her time, it took her effort, it took her perseverance, but hey! she made it in the end. Reminded of this, she smiles or laughs, and digs into the current endeavor with renewed determination.

You  as a parent are essentially a life coach, so you need remind them of their past success.